“Done!” a Poem by Brenda Wills

My friend Rev. Brenda Wills from OI AC who worshiped with us at North while she sojourned in Indiana for a couple of years sent me this poem. She wrote it in the wake of the 2012 GC. Thanks, Brenda!


More icicles in the middle of March

Yet yesterday 

      the checkered lily bloomed, 

and tiny tulips.

I had just tasted fresh greens and planted seeds: 

beets, parsnips, rutabagas, lettuce, leeks

Then ten inches of snow. 

     DONE!  Done with cold and wet.

Will growth – spring -new life –


 ever come back to this place again? 

I am so DONE with winter!


A body too ill to live, 

Too infused , pumped, drugged

  to die.

She might have said, “I am so done with living!”

   Yet her voice was unheard.


Waiting for his children to find healing 

     in his dying

  He waited, they watched,

They knew but needed to live into that knowing.

Finally he moved on without them 

  and they followed.

I am so done with church

     Methodist not united.

     Critical care needed

Life support: physical and prayer 

   pouring in

      bleeding out

Is this church going to survive?

I do not really expect acceptance – love- welcome.

  When it comes 

   I question – deflect – distrust

      Love in the un-tied Methodist church.

I am so done with church

  Absent vital signs disguised by life support

Perhaps God moves on without us, 

   inviting us to follow.

God understanding why we hold on

  unwilling to trust the resurrection

  resisting eternal transformation.

Letting go of old dust 

  to blow into star dust

becoming new life dust


And still…

I saw the checkered lily bloom, AGAIN!

   Hope seen AGAIN in green spouts, 

         bursting branches

I KNOW it is spring and 

  I KNOW winter is worthy of thanksgiving.

I KNOW both / all are needed

  I feel conflict when joy meets dead

     Whole meets broken

      Sin shows up again, in me.

And the church:  

   deep joy in connecting hand to heart

      In music, song, ritual, sacred story

While belief claims God hates, kills, 

  un-welcomes some from 

     a banquet of transforming love.

Hope & home with anger and despair —

  right on the cross together

How might I be torn open by love

   in the heart place

     and be reborn?

It is coming home to myself

  Inviting full presence

Giving my queer or questioning voice 

      to the conversation.

  No longer silent.

Sometimes I wish my eyes hadn’t been opened…

  But I saw the checkered lily bloom, again!

6/10/12 Reverend Brenda S. Wills

read – June 13, 2012 at OI RUMs’ 

Annual Conference Coffee House

Posted RUMS website and on GRIEFWORKS  Newsletter JULY 12 

Published by

Notes for a New Methodism

Rev. Darren Cushman Wood is the senior minister of North United Methodist Church in Indianapolis, Indiana and is an elder and full member of the Indiana Annual Conference. He is a graduate of the University of Evansville and Union Theological Seminary (New York). Darren was a delegate to the 2004 & 2008 General Conferences and a delegate to the 2000 & 2016 Jurisdictional Conferences. He is the author of "The Secret Transcript of the Council of Bishops" and "Blue Collar Jesus: How Christianity Supports Workers' Rights."

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